Stories
Suburban Iditarod: Team of One
When I was 14 (in 1985) I thought it would be a great idea to buy a harness, hook it up to my family’s Akita, “Monk,” and have him pull me around the…
Stories
Things that happened to me. Most of them were my fault.
Stories
David Visits a Japanese Monkey Park
These are from the Monkey Park Iwatayama in Kyoto. A monkey park is kind of like a regular park, except way more kick-ass, because monkeys. I was…
Stories
A Bittersweet New Year
Everyone screamed and jumped around when the clock struck twelve. Marc Fong relentlessly spun his self-described crappy music, which is actually more…
Stories
A Picky Pug
A while ago I went to my friend Bridget’s holiday work party. There was free food, lots of good lookin’ people, an OPEN BAR, and some good DJs. The…
Stories
A Very David Morning
6:35am: Clock radio alarm goes off, softly crooning C&C Music Factory. I’ve been feeling under the weather lately, and the 9 hours of sleep I got…
Stories
Fucking Nick.
Nick was an out of work actor, and not the most cleanly of fellows. Nick’s style? Half eaten waffles in the sink with syrup. Dirty socks left on my…